Although I regularly joke about being "retired" from endurance sports, apparently there may always be a part of me that just craves the burn. After a couple of years of limited activity during law school and while getting off the ground in my career, I fell into a decent routine of regular weekly workouts again which brought back some decent fitness. With it came the ever-creeping thoughts about goals and glory: "I should really try to [this or that]." "Maybe if I add a bit of [this or that] I can get to [insert performance aspiration]." But life has also changed in the eight (IS THAT RIGHT?!) years since I stepped away from professional racing.
With a young family and a both of us working busy, full-time jobs there is little time in a given day for hobbies. Also, wanting to spend as much time as much time with family as possible, I definitely feel like athletic goals should remain just that, a hobby. So I guess the question becomes, once again, what is the right balance of the time and energy spent on athletic endeavors to be able to remain present in my family as much as I want to while also developing as a professional in my field.
I figured I would start writing again because that always seems helpful in flushing out the answer, or at least bringing clarity to the process in these sorts of things. It became apparent that this might be useful because I actually had some big athletic successes this year but did not get much of a sense of accomplishment from them. In May I finally did my first run to the summit of Mt. Diablo from my childhood home. This has been something I have been wanting to try for quite some time and it really was quite the adventure. I started before dawn and summited above the fog without seeing anyone along the way. The upper slopes were majestic in the early morning with the air still and quiet while the sun backlit the summit rising over the central valley.
It was a great run, and I had some other good, big runs throughout the year which made me think I should take a crack at some of the
Dirt Dog Cross Country Series races. The increased consistency and some bigger base runs, I thought, might give me a strong foundation to put up decent times at these shorter events.
I ended up racing three events in the series, and performing pretty well for my average weekly volume. A few weeks out of the year we go on vacation and I am able to get in 40 to 50 miles a week sometimes. But my usual routine involves short interval workouts of about 5 miles at lunch M/W/F, an easy treadmill jog at the office T/Th, and a longer easier run on Sundays of 10 to 12 miles. So an average week is probably around 30 miles of running (plus a swim on Saturday morning). This is a great regular routine, and I am definitely healthier and fitter than I have been since I quit racing. However, at the cross country races the lead masters (40+) runners have an extra 5-10% on me and I just can't hang. Even though I am running good times, which are probably only 10 seconds per mile off what I could have run at my fittest, it is still disappointing not to be able to contend. This also seems silly, given that IT IS A HOBBY, and I am able to perform at a level most people would be very happy with. But such is my brain.
After Dirt Dog, I channeled the race-fitness to one last block and focused on the Encinitas Turkey Trot 10k. This is a spectacular event with thousands of people, many in costume, turning out on Thanksgiving morning for a fun run on the PCH. I felt good in the lead up, and toed the line tuned up to go fast. Just like the Dirt Dogs, by the end of the first mile there was a small lead group of 7 or 8 about 15 seconds up the road and I was in no-man's-land time trialing alone. That group just slowly pushed away and I ran most of the race alone. This is what I am used to and I have my numbers dialed well enough to be able to just follow what my watch is saying to stay on the rivet without blowing my stack. Without people to push with I probably left something on the table in miles 4 and 5, but came home strong and finished in about 35:26. This is a big post-law school, post-covid PR, but far off my personal best.
Again, I did not feel much in the way of accomplishment, which I should. I have worked really hard to get healthy and fit again, and my Dirt Dog races and this result showed great progress. But something about being just out of contention bothers me. I think I also have a taste of progress again which is enticing my old self to think big things. I don't want to get into a cycle of doing more and more, then not feeling like it is enough no matter how well I do. But it is nice to have goals that are just for me and just for fun again. I have also plugged back into some old friends through the events and the process which has been really nice. We all got a fair bit of isolation during the pandemic, and the bustle of life the past couple of years has also meant there just is not as much time to catch up with friends and go to events.
I don't want to set any big goals and I don't plan to go to any major events. I am glad that we live in a place where there are things you can do close to home throughout the year so it does not take much time away. But I do want to see if I can't produce some good performances with a bit more training where I can squeak it in. So I am writing again to create some accountability in my process of seeking while also staying grounded.
